Performance . . . it's where I have always sought my self-worth. I was praised if I behaved well or did a job well done. I was told I was "sweet." It became what I strove after. To make my parents happy. To get their attention. I had little else to cling to. I felt insignificant in every way. I never felt like I was enough. When I first got attention for talent in art, I clutched at it and forced myself to be good at it. I made it my identity. It was all I had. Other than that, there was nothing: I had no personality, I was uninteresting, quiet, shy, worthless. But art . . . that suddenly gave me something. Other people started projecting that identity on me as well. I remember the day I sobbed in my bed because it was discovered that my brother was also artistic - and better than me. It was all I had, and now I had nothing. I was a nobody. I had no value, worth, or significance. Always performance. Always what I could do. What I could give. I sought worth...